you are the all of myself

Once all alone.I was lost in a world of strangers.No one to trust.On my own, I was lonely.You suddenly appeared.It was cloudy before.Now it's all clear.You took away the fearAnd you brought me back to the light .


You are the sun.You make me shine.Or more like the stars.That twinkle at night.You are the moon.That glows in my heart.You are my daytime my nighttime.My world.You are my life

Now I wake up everyday.With this smile upon my face.No more tears, no more pain.‘Cause you love me
You help me understand.That love is the answer to all that I am.And I'm a better man.Since you taught me by sharing your love


You gave me strength.When I wasn't strong.You gave me hope when All hope was lost.You opened my eyes
When I couldn't see.Love was always here Waiting for me

Who can tell me what should i do?

What the hell happened to me?my mouth say let her go but my heart tell me i love her.

The part of my brain that store memory tell me don't give up,but the other part of my brain

that analysis and rational thinking telling that she hurting myself.Actually what should i do?

Who can tell me?Or What the little princess want actually?

I am no idea at all.

Stars nice right?it can brighten the sky in the night and is romantic for couple to watch it together.But did you know that actually the stars is bigger than earth?we look it small just because the distance between its and earth far.The little princess and me just like the distance between stars and earth,did you know why?cause there no chance for us to get close at all,to nearer to each other,once we get close explosion will happened,and the innocent human being life will fly away.But what i am really wish i can close with her,doing everything with her,sharing all my time with her.Can you give me a chance?

Second there are sea creatures that similar to stars that was star fish.Star fish is an amazing creature that once it break or being cut into two with their mother body it will born a new life of star fish,but unfortunately my heart cant.Is not easy for a heart to separate like this or no chance for a heart to separate like this once i love you Joee Lao there no more space no more reverse,cause i will only love you.My life happy because of you,my life going crazy because of you,even i lost myself and my direction because of you Joee Lao.

The next that the shape similar to star was star fruits.This fruits is sour and sometimes it sweet.This sweet and sour just like my feeling to you.When you smile to me,when you treat me good,when you happy,when you are amazing i will taste sweet even the reality is sour.But most i face i sour.I felt sad my heart pain only because of you.You really the winner to me,i am totally speechless to you.Even myself dont know why,and how can you,Joee Lao influence my world my life.

The last is an animation in the movie spongebob square pants.This cartoon character called patrick star fish.This animation created with a lot of funny move and making the people who watch enjoy and relax even release their stress in their life.I wish to become this character in your life.When you sad i make you happy back.When you stress i making back you smile.When you are boring i make your life colourful.When you tired i will sing a song to make you sleep.Everything going only because of you.

From Dream Paradise to The one I love, Joee Lao Poh Meng.

first try

玻璃橱窗外的冬天 雪花飘落依稀可见   Winter outside the window ;snow falling faintly visible        

想念 在秋千那刻的永远                           Miss the moment in the swing forever   

是你给我最好的回忆                                You give me the best memories

凝望北极星的那边                                    Staring the other side of the north star

想念统统装进心里面                                All the miss i put into my heart

梦里的情节一幕幕地浮在脑海里面    The plot of the dream scenes floating in my mind    

就好像流星雨般地灿烂满天                    Just like the brilliant meteors brightening the sky

看着你那漂亮又好像会下雨的眼睛         Looking at your pretty raining eyes

就好像自由自在的鸟儿飞在天上             Like free birds fly in the sky

担心你的日子，想念你的时间                 The time i am worried about you,the time i am missing you

比孕夫还痛苦                                             The pain i get more than a pregnant women

既使结局是悲伤的                                     Even if the outcome is sad

我永远都爱你                                             I will you forever and ever.

Pencil and eraser???

Pencil: I'm sorry.

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.


-Thanks for being my eraser. ♥ -

That day i saw this article post by Tracy, nice sentences from her. And she give me some idea to post

something on you, Dream Paradise. About this i will write something about parents and her,but sure not my

dad is my mummy and the little princess in my heart. Mummy are like the eraser whereas my bro and me are

the pencil. She always there for us, cleaning up our mistakes. Sometimes along the way, she get hurt, and

smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though us will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are 

still happy with what they do for both of us, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

For the little princess; in my heart i am more willing to become the eraser, cause i want to sacrifice all of

myself to you, even i will loosing myself in this world.  I will always be there for you protect you,

making you smile, trying give you all the best, and, and what you wish to. Cause i am hate to seeing you sad,

stress, and all the negative situation on you. Yes now i am not the eraser always with you the pencil that

carried in a pencil box, so what? Always i will heard that i meet her at where at where or i ate with her at....so

who cares?  it doesn't matter to me, as long as i LOVE you even i am disappear in this world, cause my heart,

my soul still got with you, even i can't see you , meet you, As long as i still breath i will trying all my best as the

eraser to doing all the best only to you. So there  no  more apologize myself to you pencil. 

I LOVE YOU Joee.





 

Pen

 

Hi dream paradise.How about you today?i am not so okay,and i dont want talk about it.Today i will only using the pen as my topic to writing my love to her.We always using a pen to write letter,exam papers,note,and something else include the most people like love letters,and throw it after the ink is end.But... yes sure i will throw too but in my mind pen alive.And sometimes i wish i am was the pen of her.Dream paradise you know why?easy cause i can get close to her,using by her.When she need me to write or everything she will pick up me and using me,how happy i am to be close with her holding by her hand.Next i will be happy cause the times she spending to write something with me even i cant talk to her is fine,cause i am already can fell the warm of her hand,the feeling of her fingerprint when touching me and a lot.I am also will stress sometimes while her mind stop function to think.Besides that I also will fell sad when the time she drop me or what cause i am be abandoned,the heart of myself breaking.Then i will fell jealous while she using other pens cause i am, not the chosen one anymore and i am not the good pen to her already.Final i will really heart death,and you know why dream paradise?cause my ink almost end that means everything that will happened between me and her end,is finish and she wont spending any times with me anymore,with the same time the dustbin will call me is time for you to getting into my stomach.hahaha how happy the dustbin.Dont know why i am still like that foe telling myself stop in the same time my heart telling me that i love her.What so ever i should not end my life.I love you as a pen.

rains

Dream paradise i think your named because i want my life is full of happiness like living at the heaven but i was wrong.Dream paradise right?no matter what it also just a dream,so can i realize all my dream?I am not sure anymore,you know why?i think you knew it..Haiz i am damn useless.yesterday while Mr Au class there was raining cats and dogs.Every times raining i will think back about the little princess worried about the little princess,yesterday also the same but there something different was my heart crying deeply and i dont know the reason,i cant get the message that the phenomena wish me to understand,I dont know i am really not understand or i am telling myself for not understanding it.Some more every day when they using her to attack me,my mouth say is nothing but my heart was not some more pain.I am dont know that i still can force myself for how many days to not find her.Just now when i watch every drop of the rain there was all your expression i saw before in the past,some making me happy,funny.But the most there only sad.Every dropped of it touch the surface of the road my heart cry,and every dropped of it my heart broken into pieces and pieces just like sand.I am dont know who i am anymore,i can't even recognize myself.Cause i am no more the past me there only laugh even my mummy said i am crazy just a movie i can laugh until my stomach pain how good is that.But now or every day i have to use my fake face to smile to laugh to everyone,how stupid i am cause a girl can make me like that.I am really useless at all.Dont know love is a good thing that should exist in this world or not.I am even dont know how to judge anymore,what is right,what is fake and what is wrong.LOVE YOU only darking myself.

hands

 

Hi dream paradise.I am not feeling well at all.I think you know the answer why.But never mind i will be alright after i am writing something on you.Dream paradise did you know why human being been created with hand?For me a pairs of hand is for us to doing jobs,taking our responsibility and hold our beloved people hands gently with love.Now i am missing two people.One is my beloved mummy,she doing a lot for me and giving all of her love to me.When i was a baby she feed me,hug me,singing coax me to sleep,holding my hands and teach me everything,her hand was soft,i wish to hold back when she is old,even i wish to carry her to every where.I wish to going back to my childhood time cause i can fell y mummy love there.I love you my mummy.Next here i want say sorry to my friends first,you are li ling,wk,pei li,pooi yuet,and khatijah,i am really sorry not i am dont want playing the games is i am cannot accept for holding girls hands even it just a game and Chriztina chew i know you worried about me but i am fine ok?nothing will happened to me.i am already starting to not let myself contact her or everything.Dream paradise the second people i am missing was joee.Only if you give i wish to holding your hand gently and dance the first dance with you.With my hands i wish you do a lot for you but only if you give.unfortunately now there no only if already.Yea with the truth i not really to let go but what can i do?I just can miss you at a side and haiz....Dream paradise now my mood damn down and lazy to write at all and sorry for not a happy me day one.I love both of you so much.Mummy i own you a lot and a lot lot,i hope that i can giving all my love to you in future.Joee what i can do now is pray all the best for you.Love Both of you.

crazy ???

 

Mimi i dont want like the crazy frog.Today full day my brain keep thinking nonsense.I am afraid next few day i will go home with naked body and riding the motor like crazy frog to everywhere, haiz damn stupiak a me.What going on?Dream paradise i lost control on myself again.Today got listening test wow the feeling was so great but after that miss chang say break and i am going to canteen with other and saw her there,after that my stupid idiot brain keep thinking stupid thing again but luckily i still can control myself for not disturbing people life.hmm mimi can i ask for more job or anything that can keep me busy for not thinking nonsense?haiz sometimes i am hope that i am not a normal human to be crazy so that my life is joyful.Dont know why i am telling myself to let go my hand but my heart calling me not.Hooo sometimes i hope to understand myself more so that i know how to control myself.i told someone that i want know her well want understand about her want take care of her but i am even lost control on myself how foolish i am.ahahaha silly  me.Dream paradise am i a person that can take as countable guy?haha you dont know right?me either,but i think is okay try to believe me cause my brain will tell me the work din finish today have to finish tomorrow.that why chou man kit always said i am thinking too much.but through my opinion sometimes think much is better cause we can done a work more nicely if not every work have to redo again then sure big head will smack me haha.hmmm damn down right now cause keep thinking about her,keep missing her.haiz mj i am gonna be crazy soon,can someone give me some opinion what i should do now?or can i be crazy frog?cause this animate quite funny with every move he got.Today my stupid brain tell me that should be me to love her,that should be me to holding her hand,that should be me making you laugh,that should be me,that should be me but that only sad be with me now.actually i can accept no matter what reason she cruel to me cause love her should accept everything of her right but hahaha never mind.For now just i fin disturbing her life is ok already every sad every disappointed every thing bad just let me take it.All your pretty all your beauty you can take it and be lost in my world.i think i can handle all the sadness.And i want say sorry to chriz chew.chou si ham i am sorry ok?cause you shout at you shut up  actually is i am try to not talking about her for not making myself thinking of her.By the way i think you can understand what i fell chriz.hahahahha i wanna be crazy frog.

A ring ding ding ding d-ding baa aramba baa baa barooumba

Wh-Wha-Whats going on-on

Ding ding

Lets do the crazy froogg

Ding ding

A Brem Brem

A ring ding ding ding ding
A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg
A ring ding ding ding ding
Ring ding
Baa-Baa

Ring ding ding ding ding
A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg
A ring ding ding ding ding
a Bram ba am baba weeeeeee

BREAK DOWN!

Ding ding

Br-Br-Break It

dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum

Brem daem

dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum

weeeeeeee

A ram da am da am da am da weeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Wh-Whats Going On?

ding ding

Bem De Dem

ding ding

da da

A ring ding ding ding ding
A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg
A ring ding ding ding ding
Ring ding
Baa-Baa

Ring ding ding ding ding
A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg
A ring ding ding ding ding
a Bram ba am baba..

ding ding

Br-Br-Break It

dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum

Brem daem

dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum dum dum dum dumda dum dum

ding ding

Bem De Dem!

yes

 

wahahaha i am back to you again dream paradise.This picture funny or not?for me the baby is cute and naive.haha.Today nothing special on myself and damn boring.but sorry i miss her again.I told myself wont disturb her anymore sure i will do it right dream paradise?i know i can do it.YES.Dream paradise actually i will search this photo cause from the beginning everyone come to this world with empty hand,so day by day,year by years when we growing up,we will searching to fill our empty.Dream paradise you know what i am searching for?i am searching for a lot of things such as my dream my hobby my comfortable life and...and...and my love.Dream paradise you know what my dream?dont want tell you that my secret.hehe.what my hobby?this one i can tell you.haha my hobby is play basketball,badminton,table tennis,bowling and volley ball with the last sleep.hahaha i am damn like a pig.oik oik.For my comfortable life i will work hard for it in future.But my love hahaha there wasn't sad,i should happy.Yeah i know the little princess wont love me but hahaha now i damn miss her but only the different is start from that day i don sending message to her anymore.Good?yes good.No matter what the reason she din accept me or anyone i will still love her.Did i wish to close together with her?no more hehe cause i dont want to be like my dad just throw my beloved mummy away.What love means to me?If you ask me in the pass i will tell you a lot but now i am not sure anymore hahaha cause i am also dont know what i am doing to the little princess is correct or the opposite.I just hope that she is fine,no more afraid to the thunder,balance work for her cause too busy she will tired and when too free everyone also will scream arghhh damn boring what can i do?haha.I also wish that she can build back her body healthy cause she damn weak just a bit she will said yeah i am vomit,yeah i am stomach,yeah i am headache,yeah i am almost faint.damn cute this princess.haha.I hope that she will get what she want what she wish to.Dream paradise you thinking that i am moody again?hahaha nope i am wasn't.My love to her not change forever yes my horoscope Aries said that i am a person that will choose money compare to something i can't get.But myself different cause i am not really believe in horoscope or other something unreality.i am think everyone should use their hand with hard work only they will succeed.But dream paradise you can dont worried i am sure wont succeed in loving her.haha cause there no more hard work on her.i will just try to help her as friend and waiting the time reach i will slowly out from her life until no more me in her life.Help me say bye to her.wahahaha i am happy that i love you i am happy that i am miss you.no matter what,how,why,where or other else my love to you wont disappear just me disappear.mummy i am waiting sem break go home become piggy haahaha your cook is delicious.Today brain stuck cause tomorrow got japanese listening test so what i am write to you dream paradise blur blur hahaha.

a happy me

 

HAHAHA.dream paradise i am back again to you but the different is after this there only a happy me here.I want to say thank you who worried about me and i want thank to my mummy and bro,you all make me  realize and after making the decision i am like throw all the load i am carriage how relax i am.I am so sorry to you all for worried about me,but after i am making the decision i am so relax cause i am already throw all the load that carried by myself.You all no need to worried me right after this,cause i will be the real me back.I will laugh everyday i will talking nonsense every days i will become the talkative guy back.wahahaha how nonsense i am i think you all know.dream paradise i am fell happy now,how about you? Dream paradise will told you all i am not especially for the little princess.cause me dream paradise only making vincent sad and only disturbing the little princess.Dream paradise please dont think like that only you are my memory here,all the happy sad,disappointed and a lot i passing through with you.Some more without you dream paradise my world like empty.you no need to worried me anymore dream paradise i am really fine,and yea i know is not easy to let her go but i am promise you dream paradise i wont disturb any girl right after this.my heart will only for her.haha may be not.i dont know, just let the time pass with us,we will know everything in the future,time will show us everything that we dont know.may be after few years i will tell you dream paradise i still love her but may be the a possible i will tell you i met another girl or i am already a buddhist monk.dream paradise everything will be ok with me.i am happy you will share my happiness and when there is moody emotion here you will advice me.Dream paradise let we two chasing back for our dream,fight back for our right.find back ourself and start everything from the beginning.yeah wahahha ki siao liao.

missing you

I am making mistake and mistake in my life.I am going more far towards wrong journey.I am getting more and more frustrated.My heart keep bleeding and bleeding.How cruel you are,how cold blooded you are.What is my mistake can you tell me?Every night i am asking myself why i am love you why i will say i love you.why???i am cheating to myself smile to myself,what i am really doing every day is crying deep insides my heart.Why i am love you?Cause you nice prefect,friendly,pretty,lovely,kind,cute,weak,easy to get bully by people,stress,and a lot a lot appear in my heart,even my friends them will told me she pretty meh?not sexy at all too skinny and a lot just the face is better from other girl.But for me you ain't like that.I am...What can i do now?i can't stop without step out my feet.I am really really a loser in my life.Every time i am thinking about you every time i am miss you every time i am like want to killing myself to lost in this world but i cant so selfish my mum still need me my still got my family i can't just go like that.But there no one can understand me no one can help me.I am telling myself to out of your life out of you this evil girl that already control all my feeling control all my emotion.I am not the real me already i have to cheat my friends every days acting i am happy i am fine without you dont want they worried about me.But every second my mind will keep thinking of you.You think i am really study no i am wasn't my body is insides the class but my soul my spirit is go to you already.Why i have to facing all of this?why what mistake i am doing?Why who can tell me who can answering my questions?I am dont why i will like that.I am almost losing myself losing my soul.What should i do for the next?I am afraid my mum find out i am become like this.In the past my life very enjoyably every taking bag to school playing chit chating  with friends waiting the bell ring go back home sleep rest after that play badminton,basketball,volleyball just play.But now my life is just torment me.How can i go out from this difficulties?Who can teach me?Who can tell me.i am really dont want in this situation anymore.I even skipped class for with stupid reason that i am cant wake up,i am sick i am stomach. I know this is wrong but i still do it.Oh my god who can take me fly from here?please i am really want doing something that can make me out of sad.Man kit chan tong i am know i am a talkative guy but last night when we go westlake not i dont want talk is i am dont know how to cheer you guys anymore cause even i am doing a lot i cant make she accept me even i am appreciate her so much she no feeling at all.And this making my confidential lost to making you guys happy.I am speechless.I am miss you i am need you but what can i do can you please tell me?What the real reason?you keep escape me you keep answering me nonsense.Mum i am sorry you born a son and you own him but now you lost your son i am lost myself.I am very sorry to both of you.I am a very big mistake in both of your life mummy you shouldn't born me i wish sis was here still alive with our family then you no need to born me to disturbing people's daughter life.My heart a my heart can you stop??

chemistry

I am almost crazy because of you Joee lao already.I dont know what mistake i did,i dont know everything,or more accurately i dont know all about you.you too special for me and you too cruel to me.Sometimes i even dont know what i am doing,cant sleep because of you,lost myself because of you.Almost taking a skull stick and try to rule the world already.I dont know what can i do to my love already.And today i hope the chemistry i learn to show you my love to you in dream paradise.what is chemistry why we learn chemistry?Mr Au and my past teacher Mr Lim told me that chemistry is the study of getting knowledge about this amazing world.And today,thank you chriz you gave me an idea to write back something to joee in dream paradise.What i learn about chemistry in one of the chapter in chemistry call isotope,today it will help me to saying something to you.Isotope is an atom that contain the same proton number or nucleon number in each atom.An atom can lost share even donate electron.I am such as an atom that share everything of myself with you,share my life with you,want to share my dream with you,want to share everything that i will got in future to you.And i also will donate myself to you,just waiting you open your mouth i will donate my time only for you,donate my love for you,donate my mind to you,donate my eyes to view every part of this world with you,donate my hand to grab your hand every place will we go,donate my shoulder when you tired when you sad.But what i am lost already lost is my heart.Just enter this tarcollege my heart already lost to you.you represent all of myself.i lost control on myself,i lost my mind to think to making decision,i lost my time to miss you.But there got something i gain.what i gain is panda eyes,yes i already got before but now even more serious cause cant sleep because of you,some more what i gain?I gain weird feeling that i havent face it before.Thank you leng lui  joee,if not because of you i wont gain,share,donate and lost in everything.And learning chemistry also teach me that we cant force to mix up everything must, go step by step if not the explosion of chemical will happened.And  what i know from chemistry is the strong always will replace the weaker.But in reality on myself i am losing my strong to my weak.And in chemistry that some substance such as alloy or metalloid is mix up with some substance i hope we are in this situation.And i even hope we not the particles like gas,the force of attraction between each is weak and far away.I LOVE YOU.