rains

Dream paradise i think your named because i want my life is full of happiness like living at the heaven but i was wrong.Dream paradise right?no matter what it also just a dream,so can i realize all my dream?I am not sure anymore,you know why?i think you knew it..Haiz i am damn useless.yesterday while Mr Au class there was raining cats and dogs.Every times raining i will think back about the little princess worried about the little princess,yesterday also the same but there something different was my heart crying deeply and i dont know the reason,i cant get the message that the phenomena wish me to understand,I dont know i am really not understand or i am telling myself for not understanding it.Some more every day when they using her to attack me,my mouth say is nothing but my heart was not some more pain.I am dont know that i still can force myself for how many days to not find her.Just now when i watch every drop of the rain there was all your expression i saw before in the past,some making me happy,funny.But the most there only sad.Every dropped of it touch the surface of the road my heart cry,and every dropped of it my heart broken into pieces and pieces just like sand.I am dont know who i am anymore,i can't even recognize myself.Cause i am no more the past me there only laugh even my mummy said i am crazy just a movie i can laugh until my stomach pain how good is that.But now or every day i have to use my fake face to smile to laugh to everyone,how stupid i am cause a girl can make me like that.I am really useless at all.Dont know love is a good thing that should exist in this world or not.I am even dont know how to judge anymore,what is right,what is fake and what is wrong.LOVE YOU only darking myself.